How to Be Happy,  Personal Development

What If You Don’t Have to Let Go Completely?

Flying with balloons
Sometimes, it’s OK not to let go completely.

I’m in the middle of a kitchen remodel. You can probably relate to the craziness that goes on when you have no kitchen for three weeks.

For example, a couple of days ago we had a brand new water filter fitted. You see, it is an unfortunate fact that most water sources in the world today have some level of contamination.

Consequently, installing a water filtration system can make sure that your water will not only be safe and contaminant-free but that it will also look and taste more natural.

Fitting a water filter is definitely a job that is best left to a plumber though, so we reached out to a few different plumbing experts to work out what the best filter would be for the sources of water in our kitchen.

If you would like to learn more about the benefits of reaching out to a plumber to install a water filter in your home, then you can find plenty of helpful resources on the Sharp Plumbing & Heating website here:

That is not all that has been going on though. For instance, I have also had some beautiful pendant lights fitted by a local electrician.

Previously I have only ever had spotlights, but I think that pendant lights are so much more flattering. That being said, I definitely would not want to tackle the job of installing these types of lights on my own!

Fortunately, my friend told me to Go To Your Home Electricians and I am so happy that I did. The electrician that we hired was so friendly and did an awesome job of fitting my new lights.

I cannot actually believe how much brighter and modern our kitchen looks. Needless to say, if you are in the midst of a kitchen remodel like me I would strongly recommend reaching out to an electrician to work out the best possible lighting solution for your room!

That being said, just remember to check out the contact details for a few different electricians! This way you can be sure that you will be getting the services that you need at the best possible price.

The fun does not stop there either. Last week, I had the chance to learn how to use a tile saw. Yep – me with power tools. Awesome!

I was cutting tiles for the kitchen floor and having a rough time about halfway through because my hands really started to ache and the tiles were chipping on some of the cuts, which was so fantastically frustrating.

At this point, I was looking online for a professional who could cut and install the tiles for me. I came across a useful website, (view page here), which was very informative. I was just about to call them when I thought, “I can’t give up now”…

About to give up, I tried one more tile, but this time I decided to see what would happen if I didn’t hold on to it so hard when guiding it through the saw…

It was perfect.

Not only did my hands immediately stop hurting, the saw moved through the tile with ease as I guided it and made an absolutely flawless cut. I was so excited! I rocked it! It’s the little things, right??

Only, this wasn’t so little. I finished cutting the tile, and a voice popped into my head and said, “What would happen if you lightened up your grip in some other areas of your life?”

Whoa! It then occurred to me that holding on to some things too tightly had been a pattern in my life for a long time. Struggling to hold on to things that may not want me to keep holding on so tight. Gripping too tightly to things that weren’t meant to be exactly the way I wanted them to. Being too attached to things that just needed a little time and space to manifest into what I was looking to create.

It got me thinking about the idea of letting go. About how letting go many times is actually the best way to hold on. But, sometimes that’s easier said than done in the moment, if we just don’t feel ready, or if we don’t quite have all the answers.

Maybe we don’t always have to completely let go of what we’re not quite ready to let go of yet. Maybe, in some situations, we’re not meant to let go completely – only just enough to allow space for things to fall together. Sometimes, we can first just try loosening our grip… and waiting to see what happens.

This could be an amazing way to get un-stuck. To change the dynamic of a painful situation, or even to attract something you’ve been going after but unable to quite make happen. It can allow space to gain insight and see more clearly. It could also be a powerful stepping-stone toward truly letting go, if that’s what’s meant to be.

What comes to mind for me in a big way is a past relationship. I did everything I could, in the most loving way I could muster at the time, to save it from coming to an end. But the more I held on and tightened my grip, the farther out the ship sailed and the more things fell apart. Holding on so tightly only made things worse, and didn’t offer the chance or space for things to come around naturally. Looking back, the most powerful, healing, and loving way to fight for what I believed in would have been to lighten my grip. To let go a little. Just like with the tile saw.

So, what could change in your life if you lightened up your grip? Didn’t hold on so feverishly? Created the space for a particular situation to naturally blossom or change, and allowed things to happen in their own time?

It just might be the beautiful, awesome middle ground you’ve been looking for.

Much Love & fall bliss,

xo Kristi

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Kristi Ling is a happiness strategist, internationally known life and business coach, bestselling author, and inspirational speaker who works with individuals and organizations on building a firm foundation for lasting happiness and success. She has been featured in numerous media outlets such as Oprah Daily, Woman’s Day, Oxygen, Entrepreneur, Mashable, Reader’s Digest, and Women’s Health. Her popular TEDx Talk on The Power of Re-Thinking Happiness has been shared across social media, and she has appeared as a keynote speaker for major companies and events. Her bestselling book, Operation Happiness – The 3-Step Plan to Creating a Life of Lasting Joy, Abundant Energy, and Radical Bliss was chosen by Success Magazine as one of the best books to make you successful. It’s available now wherever books and audiobooks are sold.


  • Jeanna Gollihur

    hi Kristi, Love the blog..really nice way to release resistance to stuff…relax into it, let our inner beings guide…thanks
    I do have to tell you something as I’m a 4th generation tile is really important to wear gloves when doing any kind of tile work too.. you can really get sore strawberries on the tips of your fingers.Especially with all the water and tile dust, and especially during the grouting phase…might wanna find another blog to write using this as an analogy..:)
    Much Love

  • Kristi Blicharski

    Thank you so much Jeanna! Yes, learned about the strawberries too! 🙂 All good and one more lesson learned! Much Love to you too!

  • Sandy goodson

    I really enjoyed this blog and it hit home. Hopefully it will change the dynamic in a situation I am going through.Having done tile work myself the analogy was wonderful. Keep those blogs coming