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Relationships and Life: Here’s the Likely Answer When You Feel Like Something’s Missing

“Only what you have not given can be lacking in any situation.” This is an idea from A Course in Miracles that I’m breathing in this week, and have numerous times before. It is a powerful truth that can be challenging to accept because it shows us that we must look at what we are not offering in any situation, and that we must take responsibility. That in fact, what we give more of is what we will receive more of in return.

For me, this concept is a reminder to always see things from a place of love.  It’s a reminder to give even more love, and to be love. This creates big shifts in perception that result in miracles.  It also prompts me to turn inward when looking to fill what’s missing in any situation. The answer, and the call to action, is always right there.

This idea is the core place from which to examine any area of our life that we feel is lacking, especially in relationships.  It will always offer the answer we seek when asking how we can improve a situation.  In any relationship, if we want more understanding, we must be more understanding.  If we want more love, we must give more love and be more loving.  If we’re looking for more joy and laughter, we must be joy and shine our light to bring laughter to others.  And the list goes on.

When I look back on my life at some of the relationships that crashed and burned or endured tremendous challenges, I now see many of those situations so much more clearly.  How could I expect someone to give it their all when there were parts of me that I wasn’t making available?  How could I expect someone to let their walls come down when I myself had concrete walls in place?  How could I expect someone to open up to feeling complete love for me when I myself was allowing fear to hold me back from fully expressing my love? I was often frustrated; feeling like a person wasn’t being open to evolving a relationship when the truth was, it was me who wasn’t open.  I wasn’t being what I was I was seeking.

This is not to say that every single relationship has the potential to be healthy or right.  What every relationship is, however, is an opportunity to learn and grow.  In toxic or abusive situation, the part that is lacking may be the fact that the relationship needs to come to an end, but is still ongoing.  Therefore, the what more can I give becomes the act of letting go.  Walking away actually becomes an act of love, as does forgiving and viewing the other person with compassion.

So, I invite you to join me in asking this powerful question when facing a challenge, struggle, or seeking a solution in any situation.  “What more can I give?”  Then be open to allowing your inner voice to share the honest truth with you.  Be willing to take responsibility for that which you’re not giving, and then open up to giving freely with all your heart.  Being willing to do this has changed so much for me, and will continue to do so.  It can transform, grow, and even save relationships, and it can definitely create big time growth within you.

Give, take ownership, and shift the way you’re viewing the situation. Be willing to go within and then step outside your comfort zone in order to create true, miraculous change.  This is where it all begins.

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Kristi Ling Spencer

Kristi Ling is a happiness strategist, internationally known life and business coach, bestselling author, and inspirational speaker who works with individuals and organizations on building a firm foundation for lasting happiness and success. She has been featured in numerous media outlets such as Oprah Daily, Woman’s Day, Oxygen, Entrepreneur, Mashable, Reader’s Digest, and Women’s Health. Her popular TEDx Talk on The Power of Re-Thinking Happiness has been shared across social media, and she has appeared as a keynote speaker for major companies and events. Her bestselling book, Operation Happiness – The 3-Step Plan to Creating a Life of Lasting Joy, Abundant Energy, and Radical Bliss was chosen by Success Magazine as one of the best books to make you successful. It’s available now wherever books and audiobooks are sold.

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