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Time Does Not Heal All Wounds – Here’s What Does!

garden seatingHi Friends! It’s been beautiful lately here in L.A., so I’ve had tons of opportunity to work in my garden. It’s one of those things that totally lights me up! Here’s a picture (left) of the peaceful new seating area I just finished.

While building a fence over the weekend (yes, me with hammers, nails, wood, and wire!), I had a powerful thought about happiness, grief, and healing a broken heart that I wanted to share with you.

I was happily hammering away at a fence post when I felt familiar pangs of pain yanking at my heart. They came on suddenly, as they sometimes do. I felt a little frustrated that a loss occurring nearly two years ago in my life was still stabbing at me at the most random moments. Can you relate?

Even the happiest, most grounded people aren’t immune to pain from devastating grief and loss, which everyone will experience at some point. But, I grew up believing that old saying, “Time heals all wounds.” I heard it from my family, from the media, and from my teachers. However, I’ve come to know the real big truth about that… Time itself doesn’t heal anything at all – WE DO – it just takes time to do it. (Click to Tweet!)

Sometimes it takes quite a while. And sometimes, it needs a little push or assistance (and there’s nothing wrong with that) to get to feeling better. Dealing with pain and loss can be very exhausting and stressful.

And we need to push forward, even when we don’t want to. Cut ourselves a break for the time it’s taking. Continue actively taking steps to get better. Every single day. Healing, just like happiness, does not take place without action. Action is what heals. Effort. Practice. It may not be what we want to hear, but it’s the truth. And, it’s where our power to thrive and shine again resides.

So, what I want to share with you is that if you’re hanging out waiting for time to heal your heart, your spirit, or even your body… we all need to remember that it’s not time’s responsibility to do that… it’s ours, and action is required if progress is going to happen. Time is just a friend to help us along the journey.

We heal our heartache, grief, and regrets through action, growth, forgiveness, and gratitude…and through frequent, deliberate steps to move forward and step into the awesomeness and light that is here in this moment, and always waiting for us around the next corner if we allow.

Have you ever read The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett? It’s my favorite novel of all time (if you’re a Game of Thrones fan like me, you would also dig this book). There’s a great analogy for this message in there.

In the The Pillars of the Earth, it takes the builders of 12th century England decades to build the massive, majestic cathedrals. Everyone talks about how long it took. But, time did not build the cathedrals, the builders did. Their effort, sweat, creativity, and action… and just look at the amazing result. They powered through and made it happen, no matter what life threw at them.

So, I invite you to join me in recognizing that we are always the ones with the power. While time is a factor (a broken bone, for example, takes a certain amount of time – but also care – to heal), it’s not the driving force.

What healing actions can you take today to expand your happiness and health? Step forward, break out your best moves, and make room for the amazing things that are waiting. Here we go!

Love, sunshine, and healing action,


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Kristi Ling Spencer

Kristi Ling is a happiness strategist, internationally known life and business coach, bestselling author, and inspirational speaker who works with individuals and organizations on building a firm foundation for lasting happiness and success. She has been featured in numerous media outlets such as Oprah Daily, Woman’s Day, Oxygen, Entrepreneur, Mashable, Reader’s Digest, and Women’s Health. Her popular TEDx Talk on The Power of Re-Thinking Happiness has been shared across social media, and she has appeared as a keynote speaker for major companies and events. Her bestselling book, Operation Happiness – The 3-Step Plan to Creating a Life of Lasting Joy, Abundant Energy, and Radical Bliss was chosen by Success Magazine as one of the best books to make you successful. It’s available now wherever books and audiobooks are sold.

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